Friday, October 4, 2013

Annual Paris check up time and I'm conflicted

Since my last post my iron intake has been adjusted to where I'm not totally physically drained all the time. That, along with vitamins have helped a lot. I'm not back to peak energy levels, I still feel exhausted if I dare to go anywhere but straight home after a half day's work so there's still room for improvement, but at least I don't wake up totally burned out in the mornings anymore. I can go out to lunch, take a class, go bird watching. So there's progress. I feel the funk lifting...

I got a call from a friend today asking how I was feeling about my upcoming check up in Paris. And honestly I'm feeling very conflicted and that was the first time admitting it out loud.

On one hand I'm hoping for a 'You are good, what you are experiencing is normal, it will clear up in time.'
On the other hand I'm hoping for some resolution to the problems I am having: on going pain for 9 months now (because deep down I feel it's not normal, pain is the body's way of saying something's wrong). BUT that may mean another procedure and I can't handle that right now at all. 4 major surgeries in 1 coma in 3 years, I want off this roller coaster, not fun. I long for a much simpler healthier time. It was not that long ago.

So yeah, rock and a hard place!

So off I go to Paris and my check up. Wish me luck.


barcann said...

wishing you LOTS of luck!

Wanda Mingo said...

Safe travels!! I hope you'll be back to SXM when we visit next month! Remember, I owe you lunch :)

Anonymous said...

Praying that the results are positive and you're soon back to your normal activities, hiking,traveling, cooking, and all the exciting things you do!!!